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Watch One Comedian Sum Up Why the Extraterrestrial ‘Galactic Federation’ Hates Earth

Last week, a former Israeli space security chief told the Yediot Aharonot newspaper that a “galactic federation” of aliens was in active communication with the Israeli and American governments. “There is an agreement between the U.S. government and the aliens,” Haim Eshed claimed. “They signed a contract with us to do experiments here.”

Eshed, who served as the head of the Israeli Defense Ministry’s space directorate for nearly 30 years, also declared that Donald Trump had wanted to announce the intergalactic relationship but was persuaded not to, out of fear of prompting worldwide panic. Eshed added: “The unidentified flying objects have asked not to publish that they are here [because] humanity is not ready yet.”

While Eshed believes that the extraterrestrials have been waiting “for humanity to develop and reach a stage where we will understand, in general, what space and spaceships are,” social media had some other thoughts on the matter. Most of which suggest that humanity—especially humanity in 2020—just simply isn’t an appealing prospect for other life forms.

But it was a Chicago comedian named Vinny Thomas who presented the perfect explanation for why any alien civilization would balk at officially letting Earth into a galactic federation. Reasons include pugs, bathrooms and Jared Kushner. Altogether now: “Jason! They still have prisons!”


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