Heavy metal. Country. Rap.
According to University of Oregon professor Lisa Gilman, these are the most popular genres among service members who were deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan. But those categories really only scratch the surface of what they were listening to.
Gilman said classical, jazz and punk were also on the iPods of many service members she interviewed to as she researched her recent book, “My Music My War: The Listening Habits of U.S. Troops in Iraq and Afghanistan."
Gilman is a folklorist, and she was interested in not only what troops were listening to but why they were listening. The songs gave insight into the lives and experiences of service members during the wars. Here are five examples of songs her interviewees listened to during and after the wars.
Sample lyric: "Skin against skin blood and bone
You're all by yourself but you're not alone
You wanted in now you're here
Driven by hate consumed by fear
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor"
“This song became an anthem for a lot of troops,” said Gilman of the 2001 heavy metal hit. It was originally written about the intense shoving and thrashing that goes on in mosh pits at rock concerts, but the lyrics can be easily reinterpreted to be about violence in war.
“A lot of units would listen to it together before they had to go on a mission or a patrol. And they described to me that they needed at that point to get into the mental state that was required of them to engage in battle or just to be out in this really scary environment. So by listening it together it helped them amp up, it helped them bond, it helped them move forward as an integrated unit.”
Sample lyric: "You can bet that I stand ready
When the wolf growls at the door
Hey, I'm solid, hey I'm steady
Hey I'm true down to the core.
And I will always do my duty,
No matter what the price,
I've counted up the cost,
I know the sacrifice.
Oh, and I don't want to die for you,
But if dyin's asked of me,
I'll bear that cross with honor,
'Cause freedom don't come free."
Toby Keith has written a number of songs about the armed forces and patriotism, intentionally appealing to service members. And Gilman found that his message was appreciated by many of those she spoke with.
“People talked a lot about how having an artist like Toby Keith singing these songs for them helped them feel that what they were doing was worthwhile and that people at home cared a lot,” she said.
Gilman also found that the lyrical message wasn’t necessarily what resonated, but just the sound of country music
“I had people talk to me about country music artists that were anti-war, and they would refer to them as if they were part of the patriotic voice, like Steve Earl or somebody," Gilman said. "The genre as a whole was associated with patriotism, and so it didn’t even matter what the individual lyrics were or individual songs, it was just the genre and its associations.”
Sample lyric: "I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh, and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here"
Drowning Pool and Toby Keith may not come as big surprises on the playlists of U.S. service members, but Sarah McLachlan bucks the macho stereotype.
“Women singer-songwriters came up over and over again,” said Gilman of her interviews. People told her that “women’s voices, women’s singing specifically, felt so removed from the reality that they were in. They’re in this macho environment. They’re in war. It’s scary. There’s constant danger, and so a women’s voice was soothing and gentle, and I think was a way to escape and help them remove themselves mentally and psychologically from where they were at.”
Whereas heavy metal and country were the sort of genres that troops would listen to together, women singer-songwriters were often reserved for private listening.
Gilman’s interviewees described “getting a lot of flak from the other soldiers who sometimes would pick on them, sometimes really aggressively, for listening to women’s music. But one of my interviewees — Craig — talked about people always made fun of him for listening to Sarah McLachlan but that, in the end, was the track that people asked for the most, like his friends would be like, ‘I need to go to sleep. Dude can I borrow that song?’ And so even though they made fun of each other, they all realized that a lot of them were doing that,” Gilman said.
Sample lyric: "I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt"
“There’s a lot of emphasis on soldiers being tough," Gilman explained, "and it not being okay to cry or to be hurt or to be sad or to have the kinds of emotions that the war experience evokes. So a lot of people that I talk about use music as a form of self-therapy. So they listen, either consciously or it just kind of happens, they listen to music as a way to deal with some of their really intense emotional pressures on them."
Gilman said the rate of veteran suicide is "astronomical," and that the person who brought up this song specifically struggled with depression and with suicidal thoughts.
“And so he talked about listening to this song and on the one hand really drowning in the pain and the hurt that’s in the song and really feeling connected to it, but also gaining strength from it," she said. "And he talked specifically about Johnny Cash who was such a famous such a successful person, yet he also struggled so much with these issues and it helped accept and acknowledge his feelings. He said something like, 'If Johnny Cash has these feelings and I’m feeling that way, then it must be okay,' because it normalizes and validates it.”
Sample lyrics: "They trained me to kill
Yeah they call me the kill machine
Now I'm out
Look what this war did to me
I keep fighting cause I need to change
I know deep down inside yeah I ain't the same
I want to be like I used to
I want to smile I want to laugh yeah yo like I'm supposed to
But I'm someone can't get close to
I walk alone by myself don't speak I don't know you.
I just really want to get away
And keep poppin’ Percocet pills just to take the pain away
Yeah nobody understands me
Or even really care enough about me"
Soldier Hard is the stage name of Jeff Barillaro who served in the Army until 2010. Gilman interviewed him for her book, and he told her how he began making music about serving in the military.
“When he was at war, at a certain point he realized that the only way he was going to survive was to produce music, and then since he’s been back, he’s continued to produce music,” Gilman said.
Barillaro's biggest audience is made up of fellow service members and veterans. His YouTube videos are filled with comments, many from veterans or relatives of veterans who are having trouble adjusting to civilian life.
“He has a very large internet presence," Gilman said. "He’s put out lots of CDs. He’s dedicating his life to really helping veterans with suicide and depression.”
Copyright 2016 Oregon Public Broadcasting