For about a week now, as the worldwide coronavirus crisis deepens, the internet has been figuratively clinging to the balcony singers of Italy like a life raft.
There were the “Bitch Better Have My Money” singers in Turin:
Manny on Twitter A whole neighborhood in Italy is singing “Bitch Better Have My Money” by @Rihanna while they’re on lockdown and self-quarantined #COVIDã¼19 https://t.co/OjcdrBNsrY
The “Roar” singers who got a shout-out from Katy Perry herself:
KATY PERRY on Twitter You cannot break the human spirit. We are one in this. https://t.co/XOa0rTVNwB
And these very professional national anthem singers:
These public outpourings have so far stood as a testament to community, togetherness, the power of music and the resilience of humanity. But as lockdowns and quarantines are expanded around the globe, they’ve also been an inspiration to others. “If they can do it with this much grace,” the rest of the world has noted, “then we can too!”
Except actually… no. It turns out that united balcony singing is for Italians and Italians only.
When Germans try it, neighbors threaten to call the police:
ChristianLinsen on Twitter Italians singing in their balcony: Germans: https://t.co/1Ou5udNNlS
In Wales, this man did his best to lift the spirits of his countrymen, only to find his Queen-related efforts were met with both resistance and expletives:
Allan on Twitter With the Italians and Spanish singing from there balcony’s, this is how the brits do it haha https://t.co/KsR8TVrABo
The Israeli attempt at balcony togetherness did its best to imitate the fun-loving Italians, but ended up being so inordinately loud, it was basically large scale noise pollution:
Hananya Naftali on Twitter Israelis held a balcony party due to #Coronavirus, following the example of Italians. They are singing about sisterhood, brotherhood and being part of a tribe. #Israel https://t.co/4xWMaWFXEK
Then there’s this poor, lonely gentleman who might have been better off belting out Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” instead:
Zhaun on Twitter I was so inspired by quarantined Italians doing impromptu concerts from their balconies.. so I went to my balcony and started singing I Will Survive at the top of my lungs. Besh, nabadtrip lang mga kapitbahay ko.
And this freezing Scandinavian who has only the whistling wind for company:
christina on Twitter italians posting photos of them singing from their balcony. meanwhile in norway; https://t.co/Dn6NOpOUkB
Even countries that haven’t attempted a mass singalong yet are fearful of the results. This guy worries that any Aussie efforts attempted may sound less triumphant and more like a bunch of drunk people leaving the bar at a beach resort:
@BARIATRICDAD on Twitter Watching all the Italians singing from their balcony with the horrific realisation that if it were to happen in Australia, we’d be forced to endure millenials singing “Riptide” by Vance Joy like lockout time at Manly Corso
The spirit is there for this Chicago resident, but the comedy delivery is a tad low key:
Michael Meyers on Twitter Inspired by the singing Italians I’ve begun telling my jokes to my neighbors from the balcony. https://t.co/d0KsbqH5Hy
With all that in mind, it’s probably best that the rest of the world drops the mic and continues to let Italy take charge. After all, how is anyone anywhere supposed to compete with this?
Twc on Twitter I simply love Italians. Italian tenor Maurizio Marchini singing from his balcony in #florence https://t.co/5sRkQTFDDL
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