For years now, Bay Area music fans have been wrestling with The Morrissey Problem. This philosophical quandary is best described as the state of being desirous of listening to music by Morrissey and The Smiths, while simultaneously feeling thoroughly repelled by the singerâs poor treatment of his own fans. In recent years, the condition has been further exacerbated by Morrisseyâs perplexing (and often deeply offensive) personal viewpoints.
The Morrissey Problem has been taunting the Bay Area for almost a decade now. It first took hold between December 2011 and April 2013 when the singer failed to show up to concerts fans were looking forward to at the Fox Theater, Davies Symphony Hall (twice), the Regency Ballroom, and the Warfield.
Then, in 2018, Morrissey made things even worse by giving an interview to his own website in which he expressed a variety of opinions best described as abhorrent. These included assertions that Hitler was leftwing, all halal meat is made by supporters of ISIS, and that political correctness was preventing people of color from being arrested for crimes they had committed (???).
It should come as some relief then that this week a remedy to The Morrissey Problem finally presented itself. It arrived via footage from a Sept. 13 show at Londonâs Kentish Town Forum, in which an impassioned rendition of Smithsâ classic âThis Charming Manâ was performed. The vocals were on point, the pompadour was in place, the audience sang along, and the mood was positively cathartic. How did this miracle happen, you ask? The answerâ*triple checks notes*âis Rick Astley.
Yup. Rickrolling, âNever Gonna Give You Up,â scourge of YouTube, Rick Astley. But before you balk, just take a look at this footage.
Nailed it!
Astley joined Blossoms at the end of their headlining set at the 2,300-person venue to perform both âThis Charming Manâ and âPanic.â It was a small taster of whatâs to come next month when Astley and the English indie pop quintet join forces for two full sets of Smiths covers. The first will take place in Morrisseyâs hometown, Manchester, at the Albert Hall on Oct. 8. The following night, theyâll be back at the Forum in London.
Blossoms also released a sneak preview on their YouTube channel:
Needless to say, the internet was very pleased with this development.
Mind blowing how in 2021 Rick Astley is infinitely cooler than Morrissey. Never would have predicted this 20 years ago. The wheel keeps on turning https://t.co/7FXbvbaIDG
— Laura Jane Grace (@LauraJaneGrace) September 15, 2021
If at least three promoters aren't this morning offering Johnny Marr MILLIONS for a tour featuring the three non-Morrissey members of The Smiths fronted by Rick Astley, there's something wrong with this industry https://t.co/jYjQbB6LeP
— Stuart Dredge (@stuartdredge) September 15, 2021
Petition for us all to ignore Morrissey from now on and just pretend that Rick Astley fronted The Smiths https://t.co/qyqlj3rghI
— Jake Goldsbie (@JGoldsbie) September 15, 2021
The campaign to get a Rick Astley-fronted Smiths tour to California starts now.
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